I had been in class all morning and hating it. He had arrived late the night before and was at my house laying tile. I couldn't wait for class to end so I could be with him. I drive like crazy to get home. When I pull into the driveway I get out of the car (trying to act nochalant in case he's watching). I walk into the house and expect to see him in the kitchen. He's not there? I call out, "Hey babe, Where are you?" I hear from the back of the house, "In here." I honestly thought he was in the bathroom doing his business if you catch my drift. I walk through the living room and turn the corner that leads to the bedroom. My heart stops. I can't breath. There he is, the man who makes my life have purpose down on one knee, with a box opened in his palm. He's smiling and shaking. I hear the words although they sound faint to my ears, "Will you marry me?" I look at him and say dumbly, "Are you joking?" He laughs nervously and says sweetly, "No i'm not, will you marry me?" Tears fill my eyes and my heart starts to race. I say yes and drop to my knees as he pulls me to him. He starts to cry and he puts the ring on my hand. It's so perfect. That moment was perfect.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
A Single Moment
I suppose I need to give some updates as to what has been going on since my last blog. In my last blog I wrote about my boyfriend leaving me in Tennessee. I have to admit staying 400 miles away from each other was not ideal. That being said, I now live back in Indiana and am currently planning my wedding. Yes! The love of my life proposed on a sunny Thursday afternoon. Sometimes I find myself reliving that moment. It was a moment every girl dreams of.
I had been in class all morning and hating it. He had arrived late the night before and was at my house laying tile. I couldn't wait for class to end so I could be with him. I drive like crazy to get home. When I pull into the driveway I get out of the car (trying to act nochalant in case he's watching). I walk into the house and expect to see him in the kitchen. He's not there? I call out, "Hey babe, Where are you?" I hear from the back of the house, "In here." I honestly thought he was in the bathroom doing his business if you catch my drift. I walk through the living room and turn the corner that leads to the bedroom. My heart stops. I can't breath. There he is, the man who makes my life have purpose down on one knee, with a box opened in his palm. He's smiling and shaking. I hear the words although they sound faint to my ears, "Will you marry me?" I look at him and say dumbly, "Are you joking?" He laughs nervously and says sweetly, "No i'm not, will you marry me?" Tears fill my eyes and my heart starts to race. I say yes and drop to my knees as he pulls me to him. He starts to cry and he puts the ring on my hand. It's so perfect. That moment was perfect.
I had been in class all morning and hating it. He had arrived late the night before and was at my house laying tile. I couldn't wait for class to end so I could be with him. I drive like crazy to get home. When I pull into the driveway I get out of the car (trying to act nochalant in case he's watching). I walk into the house and expect to see him in the kitchen. He's not there? I call out, "Hey babe, Where are you?" I hear from the back of the house, "In here." I honestly thought he was in the bathroom doing his business if you catch my drift. I walk through the living room and turn the corner that leads to the bedroom. My heart stops. I can't breath. There he is, the man who makes my life have purpose down on one knee, with a box opened in his palm. He's smiling and shaking. I hear the words although they sound faint to my ears, "Will you marry me?" I look at him and say dumbly, "Are you joking?" He laughs nervously and says sweetly, "No i'm not, will you marry me?" Tears fill my eyes and my heart starts to race. I say yes and drop to my knees as he pulls me to him. He starts to cry and he puts the ring on my hand. It's so perfect. That moment was perfect.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
GONE
The day is finally here. D day, he leaves me here today. I walk him outside after holding on to him for an hour inside the house. I try to remember everything I can about him, his smell, the way his face looks, the way it feels when his arms are around me, and the way he kisses me. I know in my heart I won't be able to feel or see any of this for at least a month. At this moment I feel like a knife has been shoved into my chest. I do not want him to drive away. We stand beside his truck in the yard clinging to each other, my cheek is against his cheek and I am holding on with all my might. I suddenly feel wetness on my cheek. I pull back to see tears coming from his beautiful blue eyes, my heart is full of love for this man. I begin to cry tears of happiness. He loves me as much as I love him! I feel as if I can fly off this earth. He feels the pain I feel at the thought of leaving. I hug him even tighter if that's possible. I don't ever want to lose this feeling. We kiss a hundred times more, and he begins to climb into his truck. I hold onto his hand and he pulls me against him again like he never wants to let me go and I don't ever want him to. I know he must go, and so does he. After another couple minutes of kissing and crying we finally part and he shuts the door. As he pulls away he takes my heart with him.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The Dip Spit Disaster....
I am the first to admit when I am wrong in a situation, but I pride myself on being right. So I finally have a story where I made a complete fool of myself over a Styrofoam cup.
It all begins when my love, Jared, gets off work last Tuesday evening. We had made plans to go hang out at a friends house, so after eating dinner we pile into the truck. We're having nice conversation driving down the road when I look down and see a small Styrofoam cup sitting in the console sporting a huge lipstick print on it. My mind automatically jumps to conclusions. First I know good and well I don't put my lips on Styrofoam cups nor do I buy that small size at the gas station. So, I question him about it. He immediately says I have no idea and starts getting angry. To me this is him acting as if he's guilty of something.
Well I give him all I got, yelling and screaming at him all the time thinking he has been cheating on me. Jared is getting more and more angry as well, screaming back at me. Then he says something that cuts straight to my heart. He says, "Why don't you just go home!"
Now let me remind you I moved to Indiana in February of this year from my home town in Tennessee to be with Jared and for him to say he wants me to go back cut me to the core. I'm so upset he said that it just fuels my anger!
Then I decide to investigate the cup all in my own stupidity. I start to look into the cup full of dip spit to try and see what kind of drink was in it before because I knew if it was coke it most certainly was not my cup. As I tip the cup up to look Jared hits a huge pot hole and the dip spit spills all down my front! It spills into my hair and on my coach bag! I couldn't believe it for a second and was shocked, I hate dipping and the smell was horrid. I feel like crying and screaming all at the same time. My anger is way up on there at this point.
He hands me a rag so I can wipe myself off and begins to turn around to take me back home to change, I calmly ask him again who the cup belongs to, believing with all my might that he knows and just won't tell me. Then he suddenly bursts out, "IT'S YOURS!!"
My mind does a flip flop and I remember now where the damn cup came from. It was mine from a birthday party we went to that previous weekend. I was humiliated on the spot for reacting the way I did. I'm sure the look on my face was priceless for Jared in that moment. I was wrong for once and he was right to my shame.
When we get back to the house I'm on the verge of tears and I walk in and tell Jared's family what happened and begin to laugh and cry hysterically. How could I have not remembered that cup was mine and why did I want to believe Jared was cheating?
I'm just glad I could admit I was wrong when need be. I'm also extremely glad he was not cheating for it truly would have broke my heart. However he will not let me live down that day and I am still apologizing for yelling at him for no reason. This situation made me realize maybe sometimes we should believe our man.
It all begins when my love, Jared, gets off work last Tuesday evening. We had made plans to go hang out at a friends house, so after eating dinner we pile into the truck. We're having nice conversation driving down the road when I look down and see a small Styrofoam cup sitting in the console sporting a huge lipstick print on it. My mind automatically jumps to conclusions. First I know good and well I don't put my lips on Styrofoam cups nor do I buy that small size at the gas station. So, I question him about it. He immediately says I have no idea and starts getting angry. To me this is him acting as if he's guilty of something.
Well I give him all I got, yelling and screaming at him all the time thinking he has been cheating on me. Jared is getting more and more angry as well, screaming back at me. Then he says something that cuts straight to my heart. He says, "Why don't you just go home!"
Now let me remind you I moved to Indiana in February of this year from my home town in Tennessee to be with Jared and for him to say he wants me to go back cut me to the core. I'm so upset he said that it just fuels my anger!
Then I decide to investigate the cup all in my own stupidity. I start to look into the cup full of dip spit to try and see what kind of drink was in it before because I knew if it was coke it most certainly was not my cup. As I tip the cup up to look Jared hits a huge pot hole and the dip spit spills all down my front! It spills into my hair and on my coach bag! I couldn't believe it for a second and was shocked, I hate dipping and the smell was horrid. I feel like crying and screaming all at the same time. My anger is way up on there at this point.
He hands me a rag so I can wipe myself off and begins to turn around to take me back home to change, I calmly ask him again who the cup belongs to, believing with all my might that he knows and just won't tell me. Then he suddenly bursts out, "IT'S YOURS!!"
My mind does a flip flop and I remember now where the damn cup came from. It was mine from a birthday party we went to that previous weekend. I was humiliated on the spot for reacting the way I did. I'm sure the look on my face was priceless for Jared in that moment. I was wrong for once and he was right to my shame.
When we get back to the house I'm on the verge of tears and I walk in and tell Jared's family what happened and begin to laugh and cry hysterically. How could I have not remembered that cup was mine and why did I want to believe Jared was cheating?
I'm just glad I could admit I was wrong when need be. I'm also extremely glad he was not cheating for it truly would have broke my heart. However he will not let me live down that day and I am still apologizing for yelling at him for no reason. This situation made me realize maybe sometimes we should believe our man.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Another Journey
I haven't blogged for awhile and I honestly don't have any excuse as to why I haven't except laziness. haha. I recently quit my part time job at Ann Taylor's The Loft and the past couple weeks I have been completely useless. However that was my plan. I wanted nothing to do for the most part of my summer. I was sick of working and school and am having mental health day after mental health day! It's wonderful and also boring for someone like me who is used to being constantly on the go. I only have about two and a half weeks left in Indiana with my boyfriend Jared and his family. Indiana has grown on me and I must admit I'm pretty sad about leaving.
However, I recieved some of the best news the other week. My uncle has bought this cute house and offered for me to rent it from him! I was so stoked. I will have my very own place and the best part is I can now abandon my search for an apartment. I will still have to find a roomate but still it takes a big load off. I can't wait to decorate and make it mine! Its a new step in a direction I have been wanting to take in quite awhile. I start back at school soon and pray my life will stay together and not unravel as it has in the past. I want things to go smoothly for once in my life. I feel that this summer has really changed me for the better, I am stronger as a person. This new journey, as I like to call it, will be a positive one!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Spirit of a Child
Lately I've been working for a summer program at a local Elementary School. I was so happy at the amount of enjoyment I have begun to experience. I have always known since I was a little girl that I wanted to work with kids. I used to play teacher in my Meme's laundry room. I admit as well I played with baby dolls. Anyway, my passion has always been to work in some field where I would be surrounded by children. After these past couple of weeks I have realized even more how much working with youth means to me. Its sort of like they bring a light into my heart. When I'm with them all the problems in my life seem to dissipate.
The group of kids I spent last week with were amazing. They begun to amuse me by saying I talked in a western style, haha, then once I explained where I was from they started calling me Tennessee girl. I smiled and laughed a lot. They always said the funniest things. I am sad that it's over but it really got me thinking about where I want to work once I finish college. Right now I'm stuck between a dental hygienist working in pediatrics, a respiratory therapist in peds, and a elementary school teacher. I know those seem all very different but they are all jobs I think I might enjoy. I hate not knowing what to choose. I wish I could see into the future and know if my choices were the correct ones. Only time will tell I guess!
The group of kids I spent last week with were amazing. They begun to amuse me by saying I talked in a western style, haha, then once I explained where I was from they started calling me Tennessee girl. I smiled and laughed a lot. They always said the funniest things. I am sad that it's over but it really got me thinking about where I want to work once I finish college. Right now I'm stuck between a dental hygienist working in pediatrics, a respiratory therapist in peds, and a elementary school teacher. I know those seem all very different but they are all jobs I think I might enjoy. I hate not knowing what to choose. I wish I could see into the future and know if my choices were the correct ones. Only time will tell I guess!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Floating
Light pours over her closed eyes causing her to winch from the pain of it. Eyes tired from lack of sleep glide open and stare at the new day through blinds on a hospital window. Her already sore body moves out of the uncomfortable position it had been in, sitting up slowly, the broken chair slides almost dumping her on the floor. The smell of hospital food and vomit feels her nostrils. She see's the sleeping figure beside her and wrenches her hand from his, moving it to get back some feeling in its numb fingers. While doing this one of the many doctors strolls in with his charts and wakes the sleeping patient. They all look the same. A nonchalant face means bad news.
After the doctor leaves chaos breaks out in the cramped hospital room. Her heart aches for him and she reaches out to touch his hand, in which at that moment he turns on her, "This is your fault! Why did you not wake me up so I could be more prepared, I'm sick of this!" With that being screamed at her, he then becomes irritated at the hair falling on his neck. This sends him into a fit all its own. Crying and screaming, pulling out his hair in the hand fulls. She wants so badly to know what to do, how to ease his pain, but nothing she can think of will change this.
He finally gives in and allows his head to be shaved. He tells her he feels like an alien and begins avoiding the mirrors. She begins to feel trapped and alone, helpless to how things will end up. She walks down the long corridor to the restroom at the end, her only place to be alone, and cries. Inside she feels like screaming and throwing a fit of her own but with what purpose?
The days begin to run together, she asked him again if she can go home for a little while with only the same response, "Do you want to leave me? Please, don't go." She can not leave without causing him more pain. She thinks of herself as only floating by, nothing makes much sense anymore, everything is dull. The sickness he is experiencing only worsens along with his moods and attitude towards others. She tries to make things light and enjoyable in the moments when things seem better but he only gets angrier. So, yet again the word floating comes to her mind. She will just float along and hope for a break. One small break, her chance to be set free.
After the doctor leaves chaos breaks out in the cramped hospital room. Her heart aches for him and she reaches out to touch his hand, in which at that moment he turns on her, "This is your fault! Why did you not wake me up so I could be more prepared, I'm sick of this!" With that being screamed at her, he then becomes irritated at the hair falling on his neck. This sends him into a fit all its own. Crying and screaming, pulling out his hair in the hand fulls. She wants so badly to know what to do, how to ease his pain, but nothing she can think of will change this.
He finally gives in and allows his head to be shaved. He tells her he feels like an alien and begins avoiding the mirrors. She begins to feel trapped and alone, helpless to how things will end up. She walks down the long corridor to the restroom at the end, her only place to be alone, and cries. Inside she feels like screaming and throwing a fit of her own but with what purpose?
The days begin to run together, she asked him again if she can go home for a little while with only the same response, "Do you want to leave me? Please, don't go." She can not leave without causing him more pain. She thinks of herself as only floating by, nothing makes much sense anymore, everything is dull. The sickness he is experiencing only worsens along with his moods and attitude towards others. She tries to make things light and enjoyable in the moments when things seem better but he only gets angrier. So, yet again the word floating comes to her mind. She will just float along and hope for a break. One small break, her chance to be set free.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)