Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Spirit of a Child

Lately I've been working for a summer program at a local Elementary School. I was so happy at the amount of enjoyment I have begun to experience. I have always known since I was a little girl that I wanted to work with kids. I used to play teacher in my Meme's laundry room. I admit as well I played with baby dolls. Anyway, my passion has always been to work in some field where I would be surrounded by children. After these past couple of weeks I have realized even more how much working with youth means to me. Its sort of like they bring a light into my heart. When I'm with them all the problems in my life seem to dissipate.

The group of kids I spent last week with were amazing. They begun to amuse me by saying I talked in a western style, haha, then once I explained where I was from they started calling me Tennessee girl. I smiled and laughed a lot. They always said the funniest things. I am sad that it's over but it really got me thinking about where I want to work once I finish college. Right now I'm stuck between a dental hygienist working in pediatrics, a respiratory therapist in peds, and a elementary school teacher. I know those seem all very different but they are all jobs I think I might enjoy. I hate not knowing what to choose. I wish I could see into the future and know if my choices were the correct ones. Only time will tell I guess!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Friday, June 4, 2010

Floating

Light pours over her closed eyes causing her to winch from the pain of it. Eyes tired from lack of sleep glide open and stare at the new day through blinds on a hospital window. Her already sore body moves out of the uncomfortable position it had been in, sitting up slowly, the broken chair slides almost dumping her on the floor. The smell of hospital food and vomit feels her nostrils. She see's the sleeping figure beside her and wrenches her hand from his, moving it to get back some feeling in its numb fingers. While doing this one of the many doctors strolls in with his charts and wakes the sleeping patient. They all look the same. A nonchalant face means bad news.

After the doctor leaves chaos breaks out in the cramped hospital room. Her heart aches for him and she reaches out to touch his hand, in which at that moment he turns on her, "This is your fault! Why did you not wake me up so I could be more prepared, I'm sick of this!" With that being screamed at her, he then becomes irritated at the hair falling on his neck. This sends him into a fit all its own. Crying and screaming, pulling out his hair in the hand fulls. She wants so badly to know what to do, how to ease his pain, but nothing she can think of will change this.

He finally gives in and allows his head to be shaved. He tells her he feels like an alien and begins avoiding the mirrors.  She begins to feel trapped and alone, helpless to how things will end up. She walks down the long corridor to the restroom at the end, her only place to be alone, and cries. Inside she feels like screaming and throwing a fit of her own but with what purpose?

The days begin to run together, she asked him again if she can go home for a little while with only the same response, "Do you want to leave me? Please, don't go." She can not leave without causing him more pain. She thinks of herself as only floating by, nothing makes much sense anymore, everything is dull. The sickness he is experiencing only worsens along with his moods and attitude towards others. She tries to make things light and enjoyable in the moments when things seem better but he only gets angrier. So, yet again the word floating comes to her mind. She will just float along and hope for a break. One small break, her chance to be set free.