This worry followed me my entire pregnancy as I grew bigger and bigger. I did think of the miracle growing inside me and that I was literally creating a new life. I knew it was a wondrous thing but my worries of what would happen to my body continued.
The day came that our Lil boy would be born. I weighed 152 pounds, my stomach had stretched outwards to its limits, and my hips had widened significantly. I had stretch marks and my belly button was strangely shaped. I labored for 8 hours and into the world he came weighing 8lbs and 9oz, Screaming and full of life. I did that, I created him. I held him close and gave him the nourishment he needed. I was so happy.
The next few days I spent in comfy jammies and recovered comfortably. All the while I continued to measure my weight loss and study my stomach wondering if the stretch marks would fade or if my belly button would ever look normal again. All the while I feared my body would look different.
And then I read this blog someone shared on my facebook page.
A blog that was so inspirational it made me stop and realize what I was doing to myself. She spoke of societies expectations and that pregnancy was now not just about a new life but about the "ruin" of a woman's body. This woman changed how I saw everything. My body was not ruined my body was changed yes, but for the better.
I am healthy, I am strong, and I am a mother.